Two last nights in a row!

When it rains, it pours....

There I was, sat in a quiet pub, busily reading in a last minute ditch attempt to finish my book club book 'Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World' by Haruki Murakami, and I was doing really well.

Really, really well....

I'd started the 400 pages exactly tome that lunchtime, and I was already a good half of the way through - right at the intriguing unicorn skull mystery, to be precise.

Then my phone rang - and I ignored it. Who wants to delve into the bottom of a bottomless handbag when they are deeply absorbed by a wonderful piece of fiction?

Then, a minute later, my phone rang again...

Insistent bugger, i thought, may be something important - or fun! or exciting! or my fucking stalker (more on him in another blog post), and wearily reached for my bag.

In fact, the two phone calls, so close together, was just a freak occurrence, as I found out later, but boy! was it worth picking up the phone!

It was only my pal, an ol'lapdancer pal of mine who is now a primary school teacher (I know, how cute...) with a free spare ticket for Mika's last London show - tonight, in an hour and a half. Could I be at Hammersmith Apollo in an hours time?

Course I fuckin' could!!

I jumped out of bed and shoved my hair in hot rollers - the previous nights burlesque antics had got me all vintage. I pulled on one dress - a leopard print rock n roll number, and began mixing up the perfect shade of Bare Essentials mineral foundation - the only thing for non-club wear. My eyebrows were a pain, as most of my proper make-up is in my locker at the club, but I managed to make do, just about. I stared at the time - ten minutes more, max. I stared at me - the wrong dress, it was all wrong. I pulled out another dress from the closet and slipped into a pair of heels, hanging it in front of me. Still the mirror said no. I pulled out another, a little Yellow limited edition number from Kate Mosses first topshop collection ( saw Selma Blair wearing the common white version a few weeks after buying it in a style mag n thought, Ha! mines better, n more unique to boot, so there HOllywood) But that meant changing the bra for a strapless version, and an underskirt to make it puff out, retro style - finally I was bloody dressed. I pulled the rollers out, spritzed the whole thing with hairspray quickly, and shoved a load of kirby grips in my bag - I can do that on the tube. Then I threw some eyeshadows and blusher inmy handbag - Mac, naturallement, and practically ran out of my house. Despite my best efforts, I knew I was still going to be late.

Still I got there, only half hour late and WOW what a show. I knew I loved Mika anyway, as I play his first album, life in cartoon motion, all the time - its such happy music... and it was great to be able to sing along to all the songs like a complete teenage saddo. Or teenage Wannabe now, seeing as I am in my twenties...and take my clothes off for a living...

Miss Polly Rae Burlesque Show

Bless Mothers...

Mine knows all about me being a lapdancer - in fact, so does my dad ( but I would never tell my Granny ), and so she booked a couple of tickets to see the last night of 'Miss Polly Rae and her Hurly Burly Girlys' in Leicester Square. She guessed it would be right up my street, and boy, was she right!

The show was fantastic, with amazing costumes and set design. She opened the show with a revised Madonna tune ( I think, my music memory is awful) whilst wearing a really sexy Mother Superior nuns habit. Her hat was a big white affair, like one of those Provencal nuns you see in old french impressionists paintings.

Apparently the team behind her was Kylie Minogues Creative Director etc, and the whole affair was so well cheroegraphed and slick, with such a fast pace and total ingenuity. I would love to be a burlesque dancer, and have decided to get a pal to take some burlesque style photos of me. Look out for some shots coming soon.....

She did a fan dance and it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I am going to have to ebay me some of those fans. Then again, my flat is becoming cluttered with past dreams and aspirations - I have a pole ( £150) gathering dust, as I still can't be asked to put it up in the living room as it takes up too much space, and a Hula Hoop (£20) stacked in another corner.

Ahhh, forgotten dreams.

Still though, a photoshoot would only be a short term affair, rather than a long-term commitment, and it would be so much fun....