Stripping by numbers

2      bouncing titties
4      nights worked per week
5      mis-matched pairs of black stockings scrunched in my locker
6      am by the time I get into bed
20    pounds per song...
40    ...or get a 'naughty forty'
69    girls on an average Thursday night
85    pounds house fee to work in most clubs in London
119  the most lapdancers in a club I've worked in - Christmas a few years back.
195  for a decent bottle of champagne
250  for a half hour in the VIP
400  for an hour in VIP
1100 my most successful night of 2011 after tip-out & taxi's.
20,000 most I've ever heard a fellow dancer made in one night - stripper folklore

How to stay healthy and eat safe during the London Riots

There are 3 things which always concern me - diet, personal safety and money.
Because the London Riots show no sign of abating any time soon, I've been forced to have a long hard think today on how I can stop the riots affecting me too much.

Let's explain;

• I live in South London, and work in the West End - riots have occurred in both places, and travel, especially late at night, will be difficult.  So it's best to stay at home, stay safe and take a few days off work if possible.
• However, I took last weekend off, and used most of my money to cover bills and rent last week, so I'm flat broke.  Can I risk going to work? Will anybody even be visiting stripclubs right now?  
• All of the shops have been told by police to shut early, so it will be difficult to get food, especially fresh - I'll need to bulk buy and plan my meals so that I stay away from frozen pizza and naughty foods!

Basically, I don't know how many nights it will be before the club will be both safe to work in and have enough punters for me to make any money. Remember, it costs ME to work - house fee, travel, accessories - around £60-100 a shift.

I also need to stay looking trim, as I'm stuck at home for the best part of the week - my gym is closed and it's not safe to jog round the park when gangs are congregating there.  

So I took action!  I went to the ATM and withdrew enough cash for a few days - well they will be empty if this carries on.  I then visited the local fruit and veg market and bulk bought enough fresh produce to tear my arms off - I balanced it all on the handlebars of my bike but it was still more than little ol'me could handle.  

So my week is looking like this;

roasted veg, cous cous & feta (cheap, long lasting produce that tastes amazing!)

homemade soups & chowder - this recipe only has a few ingredients

halloumi & olives - both keep well in the fridge

marinate a family pack of chicken drumsticks and freeze

dust off my yoga mat & do a youtube yoga class in my living room - this core strength one should do the trick

hula-hoop in my garden for cardio

Sunbathe in the garden too

Read the naughty doorstopper ; 'Juliette' by Marquis de Sade (this will keep my mojo up!)

As I write this, sirens are blaring up and down the streets near my house - I can hear 6 different types and cars. Shops all over London are boarded up. Stripclubs are shut - even Spearmint Rhino was evacuated last night (although Platinum Lace proudly tweeted that they were open!)  Who knows when I'll make money again? Or be able to pop out without fear?!

But at least I'll stay solvent and skinny....

Dazed and confused

I will always argue that my work persona - the girlwho is the stage name rather than the girlwho hides behind it - does not affect me oin a day to day reality basis.
But then I have a normal night, and the gulf that lies between me and us seems to be a bit more flexible.
I hang out with a load of old pals, for the past decade or so, and yet I feel detached.  My behaviour, my clothing, my points of conversationalreference just seem off .
F***knows why, darlings....
 
The worst thing that this job has ever given me is a serial short term memory.
It's either because;


a)  I want to forget (sorry to convention, but thats just not true.  I long to recall in HD detail)

b) The drinking, the drugs, the partying, the grooving and the talking, endlessly night after night, have rewired my barin till its all one big blur)

So anyway, why do I feel left out?
Even amongst old friends, a shadow of my former self?

I will tell you why,    it's beause, earnings wise, I am simply a shadow.

I am on the breadline compared to the financial freedom I enjoyed until even just a few months ago.

At first I was afraid, I thought it was me - I was too fat, too blonde, my hair was all wrong, my outfits were like a sack of potatoes.

But tonight I shared my problems, and an old, bestest friend of mine pointed out -

"It's not just you - the whole world's in trouble"

So next time you hear me complaining, just remind me of today's post!!