Realised a home truth tonight

Stripping is fairly cliquey - well it's a bunch of girls after all - and naturally I've always strived to be part of the 'in-crowd'.
Despite years of trying, I've always been on the sidelines.
I used to think that I wasn't part of the in-crowd because I wasn't pretty enough.
So I changed my look, imitated the cool girls.

That didn't work.

Perhaps it was because I wasn't funny, generous or stylish enough?

I memorised jokes, shared my sushi, carried a monogrammed designer bags, wore boots & juicy couture velour tracksuits.

Still the conversations were just in passing.

But tonight I saw a girl trying soooo hard, and succeeding, with the in-crowd, when it struck me.
I wasn't defunct in some way
It's because I don't make enough money from guys.( I've never been the best hustler, truth be told.)

To them, I'm a liability.