Showing posts with label poledancing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poledancing. Show all posts

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Things to Do Whilst Housebound in London Riots


Things to Do Whilst Housebound in London Riots (stripper style)

  • Sunbathe - in garden, balcony or patch of light between the boarded up windows
  • Watch how long my Brazilian can grow out for
  • Do my nails - if sirens come, bite me nails
  • If sirens stop closeby, make tea & check out men in uniforms
  • Practise pole tricks

Sunday, 5 June 2011

When pole dancing is painful....

Maybe its because I'm a lazy dancer on the pole, but I've managed not to get a bruise as big as my friend did the other night.  When is pole dancing painful - and how bad can it be?
The most common injury is a bruise or two, and they are usually appear on the inside of your thighs, on your hip, or if you're really unlucky and fall off, your arse.
I've seen a girl fall head first a good 12 feet after losing her grip at the top of the pole.  The whole club gasped as she lay there for a split second, flat out on the marble floor, lights playing over her body.  She got up and, bless her, tried to continue her dance.  What a little trooper.  The entire club had seen though and she was called off stage pronto - you can't risk a death or lawsuit, and besides, even the meanest bouncers and managers are human inside.  (I think. Some are c**ts 99% of the time!)
Saying that another common injury from the pole is just big dumb clumpy shoes getting the way.  The amount of times I've kicked myself or wobbled and risked my ankles whilst the momentum of my legs kept going after a spin.  I've worked in clubs where the pole is mobile rather than static, so as soon as you grab hold of it you start moving.  Add alcohol and enthusiasm into the equation and you are royally screwed.
I've had some really painful pole dancing related injuries that didn't hurt too much when I first did them, but the bruises stayed and stayed till eventually I'd have to call in extra bottles of concealer and thick foundation to cover them up.  This usually results in a weird looking smear of pasty flesh cover-up with a blue/black undertone as my skin is pretty pale compared to a big mama black and blue shiner.
My friend was learning a new trick and had been practising on her pole at home.  You have to hold yourself against the pole whilst upside down and slide yourself bit by bit down the pole.  In case you want to try it at home, it's called a caterpillar.  It's a really impressive looking move, and definately not for beginners - or me for that matter.  Not after I saw the humongous shiner she had.  She came into work the other day and we were in the changing room going through the motions - make-up, hair, fake tan.  My pal was cursing the indaequacies of Max Factor as she tried to cover up a black and blue bruise that covered most of her inside thigh.  It was slightly scraped like it had been burnt or scraped too, so the make-up wasn't a good idea anyway.  I lent her a pair of stockings that I had in my locker, but even they didn't hide it entirely.  The next night she wore some really thick black hold-up stockings, I think they were Wolford but they were definately an improvement.
So poledancing can be painful, poledancing can really hurt like a motherf**ker, but hey - poledancing is fun too, even when you're not a world expert.