First date's reveal some upsetting home truths

So I've recently been on my second date with a gorgeous and driven city type, and whilst it was in many ways a success - he's been texting me since, he looked me in the eye and said he liked me (!), and we had a kiss or two - the experience has left me confused and wanting.
Firstly, a bit of backstory.  I'm fairly inexperienced in the world of dating.  I tend to meet guys when drunk or high at one of the myriad of house parties and club nights that I find myself at, then take them home with me that night.  I have no time to fanny around (excuse the pun) with the first-dates-lets-meet-for-coffee-malarky, as my free evenings are sacred to me as a lapdancer who works nights.  On top of this, as a hustler, if I see a man I want, I get him, right there, right then.  It's in my DNA now.
And when I have a man I like, I've always embarked on an intense relationship, where we are practically joined at the hip, our two souls and bodies deeply intertwined, our dreams shared.
However, a couple of months ago I got my heart broken, in one of those unexpected moments that life throws at you - one day we were planning Valentine's, the next he'd come round to tell me that it was over.
Just like that.
The feelings of depth and abandonment overwhelmed me so completely I felt like I had just stepped into the pages of a Twilight novel - suddenly I was Bella Swan, alone, abandoned, and utterly rejected, staring into space and all food and pleasure turning to ashes in my mouth.  I drank, I cried, then I drank some more, until eventually my friends and family pulled me  out of it and I returned to normalcy.


Several months have passed now, and so I've begun to look at men again, feel the familiar stirring in my loins, flutters in my stomach - my capacity for love has returned.  So I've been on a couple of dates with the one guy in London I currently find even a little bit cute - with unexpected results.

• Age and Experience has made me picky;  I don't seem to fancy anyone.  At all. Even though I meet lots of guys at the club, many of them hot, rich and successful, and we have brief erotic experiences together.  I get chatted up everyday too - by the guys working in my local cafes, people in the pub - I even got chatted up in Waterstone's bookshop the other day.  But whilst I'm flattered by the attention, nobody excites me - whereas before many of them would of.
• I'm horny, but want it on my own terms.  I've been reading the Fifty Shades of Grey
  trilogy, and totally empathise with one of the main characters.  No,  not the lily-livered Anastasia Steele virginial type, but the dark and tortured Christian Grey.  He doesn't like to be touched - a boundary I have to keep to every night I stride into a booth to give a lapdance.  He wants to fit his sexual experiences into alloted time slots - as a busy working girl myself, I would love to slot 'sex time' into my diary.  He wants to control and manipulate the situation so that he doesn't get hurt or abandoned again - feelings which mirror my own so exactly, so perfectly, yet still push the spine-tingling sex scenes to excess.
• I'm a bit of a nut that try's too hard.  My work personality is only so many shades of grey, if you will, from my normal persona.  The thing is, I do try hard to make sure the person, or people I am with, are happy - I'm a naturally generous and sociable young lady.  However, put me in a situation that I feel uncomfortable in, and I will start over-compensating in order to hide my nerves.  Imagine you are at a dinner party, and the conversation moves out of your depth by a person you are trying to impress.  Your voice might rise a few octaves, you start slavishly insisting on a moot point - you generally become a loud, crazy bore.  That's basically me.  On our first date, I chatted about wine with the waiter, thinking that my few grains of vinery knowledge would impress the guy - who simply smiled, as he casually mentioned that he liked wine too - his family owed some vineyards....  
• I drink way more than the average person.  It's very hard to match your drinking to the other, especially when you are nervous. Especially when they are on beer and you are on Martini's. Either I need to switch drink preferences or I just accept that at heart I am a Geordie Shore lass on the lash.  
  
•  I must be careful not to fall under the 'damaged stripper' stereotype.  Yes, I'm currently damaged goods, and yes, I'm an exotic dancer, but I must be careful that I do not come across as the embodiment of that old Hollywood favourite - the damaged stripper. See the Spearmint Rhino chapter in How To Be a Woman by Caitlan Moran, a brilliant modern feminist writer who documents a visit to the megalithic temple  of nudity; Spearmint Rhino on Tottenham Court Road, and whilst she has a good time, leaves feeling that many dancers come from abusive backgrounds. I certainly don't, but I've just had my heart broken, so until it mends itself or new-found love heals the tear with a warm and fuzzy sticking plaster, I have to keep in mind that my real inner feelings may be taken out of context.

Well, that was fairly cathartic just writing that post - a spot of self analysis can be good sometimes. This is is obviously one of the perks of being me - I can blog and write about my experiences and life under the veil of anonymity, and use the process so that both I and current and future readers can perhaps get a better grasp on what's going through that lapdancer's head.  I've dedicated the past month to posts about dating a lapdancer,  chatting up a lapdancer, and our love lives - please explore and comment.

It's a fairly difficult time for me at the moment, with a sense of my myriad identities being in a state of flux.  I sometimes fear that I have too many faces that are simultaneously on show; my dancer self, my blogging self, my real self. 

But that doesn't mean that I am not happy, and in many ways I am doing well at the moment - work is steady, I have lots of friends at the club, more readers on my blog, and another date on the cards......

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How to pick up a lapdancer

It must be on every man's bucket list to pick up a lapdancer. Hell, I've even met students of The Game and Rules of the Game who bring in their classes to use us girls as target practice.

But how does a guy chat up a stripper? And I don't mean swap numbers and business cards so that she calls you up and gets you to become one of her regulars, or puts you on the club mailing list.

I'm talking about a real life, meet-out-of-the-club scenario, which perhaps progresses to second or third base … or the kind of magical night where you hit a home run and you and the deliciously hot and horny exotic dancer have wild freaky sex all night long...

I've thought about this and have come up with my top ten points and advice on courting a lady of the night...

Firstly, a disclaimer. It is against club policy to date customers, and many clubs don't even like you telling guys your real name or any personal details. So when a lapdancer is 'lying' to you, she is probably just doing it to toe the club line and keep her job.

As a Stripper PUA (Pick.Up.Artist), you should make understanding the dancers situation your bottom line. Would you risk your job to get laid?

Well would you????

So picking up a lapdancer is breaking every rule in the book – so whilst Miss Sassy Lapdancer here does not condone this kind of illicit and exciting scenario, I will offer a few pointers...

• Be NICE Buy the girl a drink. Give her a few compliments, just casually dropped into the conversation. Look her in the eyes, not stare directly at her tits.
• Compliments; Here you have to be clever. Some girls have real hang-ups about bits of their bodies, whereas other girls are so used to getting complimented on certain areas that they find it a turn-off. These bodily bits are generally the men's favourite erogenous zones, such as tits, legs and bottoms. On top of this, we fuss about our hair and eyes so much in the changing room that whilst we like getting compliments about our hair and eyes, we may also be expecting it. A clever guy will compliment a girl on a more unusual feature. Personally, I go gooey a la' Fifty Shades of Grey when a man tells me “Don't bite your bottom lip – It's very distracting”.

Try saying that;

a girl's hands look beautiful with her bracelets and rings, that her eyebrows frame her face perfectly, her shoes look great on her legs, her luscious brunette locks remind you of Cheryl Cole/ Kate Middleton. She just blushed a little and it was really sweet, you like the faraway look in her eyes when she discusses holidays, she has a beautiful back. (don't massage it if you are heavy handed though... or drunk. That will just cause me pain and I need my body to work!)

• Compliment No-No's; Reader's of The Game and Rules of the Game will know all about 'negative' hits – backhanded compliments such as 'your hair is cute, it reminds me of a mullet'. A few of these can be a great way to break the ice and make the conversation funny, but too many and you will seem like a dick. Be nice (see above)
• Raise your Standards; You are trying to successfully pull a hot, sexy, cool woman who gets chatted up every night, so make sure you fit the bill yourself. Dancer's like hot guys, cool musician types, guys with a decent job and salary, - but the key thing is not to smell, please shave off any extraneous body hair, don't wear dorky clothes, and just exude an air of cool confidence. Most guys I date are people who work late shifts like me – so if you are a bouncer, bartender, or drug dealer reading this, I am sure that you have already dated several strippers. Freelancers, chefs, and people in creative industries are great for dating – if you are a 9-5er, understand that if I go on a date, I may be taking a night off work for you, so make it special.
• Choose your time carefully Come when it's slow, like a Sunday, Monday or Tuesday shift. Note when the girls change from daytime to evening shift – a hungry day girl may take you up on your offer of dinner when her shift ends. Or have an after-hours party lined up (NOT in your hotel room). Or even better than a party - have an all-night breakfast place lined up.  Any lapdancer worth her salt will be ravenously hungry after dancing for 8 hours for a pack of drooling zombies baying round a stage.
• Bring a friend If you go to a stripclub on your own, the dancer will see you as a proper perverted punter, or a sad and lonely bugger. I'd bring a friend or two – a wingman, or even better, a wingman AND a wingwoman. Then they can both big you up, and say what a nice guy you are.
• Can I bring a friend? Look, I'm sure you are not an axe-wielding rapist, but it's still scary meeting up with a guy, especially at 3am in the morning when you have been staring at my naked form all night. So if you invite me on somewhere, expect me to bring company – well at least it will be hot company, as I'll bring one of my fellow dancers. However, if you are inviting me to a club or houseparty, and I bring a waiter or bartender along as part of my entourage, don't moan – just graciously accept it & buy him a beer. If I wanted to sleep with the staff, I would have done it already, capiche?
• Shooting fish in a barrel It's very hard to chat me up at work. It's hard to chat me up period, because if I like you, I've probably already started initiating a future hook-up before you even know that Cupid's love bolt is heading your way. So if you are the kind of douchebag who wants to chat up a dancer for kicks, stick to the new girls and amateurs, as they will prove less resistant to your charms. If you want to spot a new girl, ask the barstaff, DJ or just watch them on stage – you can spot a new girl from a mile off as their stage-sets are less polished even though you can see she is really trying to appear sexy whilst twiddling round the pole. The old-timers are usually the girls who look really really good, or really, really bored.
• Have a pen in your pocket. Well, I'm not going to ask a manager or waitress for a biro if I want to give you my number am I, and running off to the changing room isn't an option when another dancer will just swoop into my place as soon as I vacate my seat.
• Remember this is my JOB and my WORKPLACE I'm not even going to delve into detail on this startling obvious fact, but if I swung by your office and took up all your time chasing your digits, you would find me very annoying....

So there is my advice on successfully chatting up a lapdancer. Memorise and learn from my pearls of exotic dancer wisdom, or cut out and keep this how to ten point plan on pulling a lapdancer.

In my own life, my #dateadancer week has obviously taken longer than a week, but I hope you have been enjoying my posts. I'm finishing off my date a dancer series with 'How to date a dancer' followed by 'How to dump a dancer' – advice there on the full spectrum and love lives of us exotic young ladies. Please look around my blog and check out these posts.

Personally, I have got several dates lined up this week with cute guys, one who is a friend of a friend but two are guys I met in the club (on different nights – I'm not a slag!) I've kissed two of them but haven't seen any sparks fly yet, and haven't had sex for three weeks now, which means I am rule-breakingly horny at work :)

See you in the VIP booth xoxo Sassy

The difficulties behind chatting up a punter

Our eyes locked.  I was unable to look away.  The music melted away, a soft murmur in the background.  I felt naked. I was naked.
I realised that I hadn't taken a breath for a while. Air came into my lungs, I blinked, suddenly self-concious.
"I...." My lips parted.
His hand softly grabbed mine, and a thrill of electricity ran through me.  I could feel butterflies in my stomach, and I leant in closer, closer, wanting to kiss him.  This man, sat right in front of me.  Why did I find him so attractive, so alluring?
I remembered where I was.
I stopped myself, pulled my wits back around me like a protective security blanket, laughed nervously, and pulled myself back up. As if to break the spell, I tossed my head back and strode seductively to the other side of the booth before finishing the lapdance.

Yes, that really can happen.  I've fallen in love with customers in an instant, felt an erotic thrill whilst dancing for some of the most beautiful men I've ever met, fallen for the charms of men chatting me up over a glass of champagne, the alcohol clouding me till time rushes past in a blur.

All too often though, it doesn't work out.  Say you'd like to meet, and the guy, sensing ulterior motives, invariably asks; "How much?"
For me, this is a total passion killer.  It kills dead my schoolgirl crush.  How can I be infatuated with a man who wants to pay for my feelings - how can he not realise that my feeling are genuine?
I know I'm really, really good at making a man feel special, because that's my job - to propagate a fantasy.  I'm an exotic dancer on paper, but I am an illusionist by trade.
Then there are the times when, naturally, they don't want what I want - a date.  They want me that night - in a hotel room, back at my house (awkward journey that, as I always say I live in a totally different part of London) - back at his place, perhaps his city bolthole where his wife and kids won't see us.
This makes me feel grubby.  Sure, I've had plenty of one night stands - but they are usually after a house party, a chance meeting in a club, when I'm high, drunk and free.
So maybe you meet up and go on a date - then you have to explain all the fantasies that you span on your initial encounter at the stripclub.  No, I'd add 5 years to that age; I'm sorry, I've never really been to teh same ski resort as you; actually, I don't really live in Chelsea - haven't been there in months, but I do love the TV show....
Of course there is the presumption that you do this all the time, you must be such a slut, taking full advantage of the conveyor belt of eligible bachelors that walk into your life night after night.  You are a guarenteed shag, tons of notches on your bedpost.  You get chatted up all the time, right? (Actually, this is true - most times I leave the house I'll get admiring glasses, but that doesn't mean I follow them all through.)

So, dear readers, next time you are in a club, and that curvy beauty with chocolate eyes to die in holds your hand and whispers that she hopes you don't leave her side for a moment that evening, that she wished the night could last forever - who knows, it may be true!
Or she might just want another hour in the VIP......

The Love Life of a Lapdancer

She stares into your eyes after you've asked the question, before shyly playing with a strand of her hair.
"Do I have a boyfriend? With this job? Are you kidding?"

So how many lapdancer's really are single and available?

If you walk into a club as a punter and ask all the girls this question, most of the dancer's will say that they are single, with a few lovers on the side.  Some may even say that they are lesbian - and do you want to see her dancing with their girlfriend, who is just over there?

Luckily for you, I have behind the scenes access, and can tell you the truth of what really goes on in the love lives of lapdancer's today.  Here is what I have learnt.... some stereotypical, much of it is very surprising.

Lets base it on your average stripclub in a big English city, such as London, Birmingham or Bournemouth.  

There will be 70 girls working on a busy Thursday night.

• 40 girls will be from Eastern European countries.  The Romanians will probably have a husband or baby back at home - they will also be devoutly Catholic and only return home for a huge celebration of religious holidays ie: Easter, Christmas.  
• The Polish, Latvian, Bulgarian and  Russian girls are more of a mixed bunch.  They will probably have boyfriends who are living in the UK, that they met here. 
• 3 girls will be Asian.  They will probably be dating an English man - there is something about 'yellow fever' which will grip a man and make him an incredibly enamoured boyfriend, many Asian girls will get spoilt rotten by their boyfriends, lucky things!
• 5 girls will be from Brazil, and will be single or casually dating either a fellow Latino they met here on one of their many nights out.  Brazilians like to party!!
• There will be two Australian girls, who are single and ready to mingle, if they get a chance in-between jetting off on weekend breaks all over Europe.
• There will be 2 girls from the Caribbean, they will have some funny stories about the dodgy guys they have dated back home but will generally be wary of spreading the love around too much.
• There will be 2 girls from Africa, they will be single but are waiting for someone special...
• As will the single Indian girl. Stripclubs never seem to have more than one Indian girl, I guess they don't see it as a viable career choice...
• There will be 5 English girls who are dating muscly men - a security doorman or a boxer. 
• There will be 3 English girls who have adorable kids at home.
• There will be 5 English girls who have really messed up and twisted relationships with psychotic guys, and they will spend half the night screaming down the phone at the good for nothing, who they suspect is seeing another girl behind their back.  Think TOWIE.
• There will be 3 girls, of any nationality, who are obsessed with footballers.
• Of the Eastern Europeans, 10 of the 40 will not have had sex for at least 3 months. 
• In fact, out of the 70 girls, I'd say 25 would not have had sex for at least 3 months.  I frequently meet dancers who have not had sex for a year or more....
• Oh, and there will be 2 lesbians.  Usually with a butch girl waiting at home, as a lapdancer is quite femme, dontcha think?

So there you have it - observed, as if I was David Attenborough himself in a G-string, the dating habits and mating rituals of the lesser spotted lapus dancerus as observed in an intense and lengthy study in their natural habitat.

10 things you never knew about dating a lapdancer

So you want to date an exotic dancer? Or perhaps you've been luckily enough to successfully chat up a stripper - well here are my top ten strange but true facts that you should expect as a lapdancer's plus one.
How did I compile my list of things you never knew about being in a relationship with a beautiful and alluring lady of the night? Well firstly, I've had boyfriends whilst working as a lapdancer, and secondly - I'm a girl working with lots of other girls. What do you think we gossip about on a slow night? Men, sex & shopping. Of course.  Seeing as I've designated this week 'date a dancer' week, I called up a few colleagues and quizzed them on their love lives. It was certainly a fun way to spend my rainy Saturday!!!

So here is my "TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT DATING A LAPDANCER"

1. We'll always be late.  Especially on date  nights. If you are waiting for us to get ready, I suggest grabbing another beer and settling down on the sofa, as we will faff for at least another half hour.
2. After sex we look like Worzel Gummidge - less bed head hair, more complete tangled mop a foot high.  This is because we pile so much hairspray into our curls and backcomb the hell out of our crown that the moment it experiences some serious bedroom friction, it turns our Rapunzel locks into fuzzy felt.  On that note, don't pull on our hair during sex either.  You will damage my £700 hair extensions and risk a sex ban for eternity (or till I'm next horny).
3. Just because we are super sexy and horny at work, doesn't mean that we take that attitude home to you every night.  The last thing a lapdancer wants to do when she gets home at 4am is a porn show. She wants a cup of tea and a spliff with a slice of leftover pizza and a nice cuddle please....
4. ....Unless she has had a really good night. You see her stagger in clutching a garter full of crumpled notes then you are guaranteed to get laid - she's probably kept her stockings on under that Juicy Couture tracksuit.  And being asleep/having an early start/snoring won't stop her... you're going to get raped by a drunken young lady high on tequila and hard cash, you lucky boy.
5. The saucy striptease I give you at home is not the same as the lapdances I give at work.  There is no pole, no touching and besides the sofa at home is too low to really give the same bump and grind effect.  Which one is better? Errrr.... probably the ones with you, unless I'm day-dreaming about being spoilt rotten by a dirty pervert. BUT!  Just because I have fantasies about work does not mean that I actually live them out. I fantasise about firemen too but I'm not about to burn the house down, am I?
6. We have really, really hot friends who are way louder and energetic than your average girl.  It can be intimidating when in public en masse so contrary to your first thoughhts, you may decide not to introduce all of your uni chums to these girls - yes that Brazilian beauty I've taken under my wing is definitately a train wreck waiting to happen that you should not inflict on poor Jeff.  And no, you are not going to fulfil your college fantasy of a stripper threesome. Just because I work in the sex industry does not mean that it's OK to shag my friends!
7. You're bathroom will look like it's been infested by an invasion of hairy spiders.  No, not my shaved body hair - a decent dancer would never let it grow that long! It's a million pairs of fake lashes, and you're not allowed to squish them or flush them away, as they cost £5 a pop and I can reuse them - if I ever remember to take them home that is....
8. If you want to get in a stripper's good books then rub her feet or give her a nice oily massage right across those shoulders or tight butt cheeks.  Not only will it be fun massaging her derriere but it's also the spot where a lot of tension caused by high heels is stored.  Her aching body will be so grateful that  she'll probably roll over and let you take the pic of any hole you please.  Probably.
9. She'll look so hot when she comes back after a shift that your cock may spontaneously combust - but during the day she'll live in Ugg boots and tracksuits, like she's pernamently going to a gym class. That's if she get's out of her pajama's, which really isn't  necessary till she goes to work at 7pm in the evening.  Expect to come home from work and find her still in her PJ's. He'', I even go to the shop in mine somedays!!!
10. Finally, we may be beautiful but we are probably insecure, so need daily compliments and please tell us how sexy/funny/brilliant we are - whether we are stepping out of the shower or comatose on a sofa.   A few sweet deeds and presents won't go awry either - I'll be talking about you with the girls in the changing room anyway, so why not encourage a bit of boasting instead of the usual moans?

So that's my top ten unusual home truths about dating some of the hottest, funniest, craziest and most openly passionate women on the planet.  You've got no excuse now boys.....

How to date a stripper

What's it like dating a dancer like me?

Amazeballs! Totes Fabulous Sweedie...... Ok, so I'm biased.

So when I wanted to find out what it's like to date a lapdancer, I went and asked a guy who's been there/done that, and can provide some perspective from a man's point of view.

One of my readers obliged, thank god, although I may bite the bullet and interview one of my ex-boyfriends (one day, when I grow some balls).

'Rob' has been with his partner for 4 years. She has been dancing in UK for 2 years.  They live together in London, where he has a normal job whilst his girlfriend dances.

She works at various clubs in London and surrounds. Rob explained "Employment wise they are quite good but before they were terrible. As she is from the developing world, employment rights arent high on her list of needs. That part is my imput.


Best Bit About being with a stripper

1 Shes obviously hot

2 She stays hot as her job is physical

3 The peace and quiet / independence of free weekends

4 That she earns very good money, in cash



Worst Parts about being with a Lapdancer

1 Constantly hearing "xxx made twice as much, am I ugly"

2 Being alone going to bed every night

3 Lying to your family / friends about what she does. (Im a good liar though so its not that big an issue)

4 The employment rights, which are appaling



Do you go to Lapdancing Clubs?

In the UK, on stag dos only. Its too expensive in the UK and I know too much. Overseas, yes.

I believe Im more lapdancing experienced than most men (i would be a wallet watcher in your terminology)



Was your girlfriend a lapdancer when you met her?

Yes



Would you describe yourself as jealous?

No. If you are jealous then I dont think a stripper is the best choice of girlfriend



Does she have sex with customers?

No, but she constantly moans that men ask her all the time.

She also tells me about colleagues who are "dirty", or girls "who must be dirty as they are so ugly/ fat"



How do you know she isnt lying to you?

I trust her, and shes rubbish at lying.
Sassy's note; I'm unbelievably crap at lying to boyfriends, friends and family, although ironically I am way above average when it comes to lying to strangers and punters. When I am in the club, I could lie for Britain!!!

What do you think about when she is at work?

Whatever I'm doing. I genuinely don't think about what she is doing.
Are you worried about safety?

Clubs seem very safe, she isn't worried. Security is strong, she has a regular taxi driver and never says anything about danger at work
You're with a lapdancer, your sex life must be amazing?

erm no, when you work in the sex industry you dont bring it home. I understand that and make concessions.

I'm not with her for the sex.


Do you get to meet her friends?

Sometimes, I give them lifts and maybe meet for a coffee to ask things.

She does have hot friends, but when I see them they are tired and in normal clothes. Most strippers dont walk down the street in fur coats, stockings and high heels.

What does she say about her work?

Mostly its busy / quiet, or moaning about wankers / being happy about customers who have lots of dances, or telling me something funny that happened, or what other girls have said. She is constantly surprised by things the Brazilian or East European girls say
Does she ever tell you about good looking customers?

Occasionally, if a young lad comes in who fits her type. She will tell me he was hot, and how much money he gave her, if he smelled nice and ask me why he goes lapdancing. Shes not with me for my looks btw.

Has she ever danced for girls?

Yes, but she didnt tell me as much detail about that as I hoped
What do you think about her regular customers?

I am happy for them that they like my girlfriend, they have good taste. I'm also happy that they give her lots of money for not doing very much other than talk to them. Most of them seem to treat her as a surrogate girlfriend / wife and just like the company of a pretty young girl. If I was them I would find a more rewarding solution to my problem, but each to their own.
I have texted them for her, or helped her with answers when they text. I wasn't happy about them giving her her number at the start, but its in my name so I'm not worried.

How could your life as a lapdancer boyfriend be improved?

More daytime dancing and less nights

Always that my gf would be the prettiest & highest earning girl in every club

A semblance of employment rights for strippers

That all customers would be generous when sober

Free dances from her friends reciprocated amongst all boyfriends


What advice would you give punters who want to go out with a lapdancer?

Treat the girls as normal girls, not charity cases or reprobates in need of reform

Be normal and 2 of these 4 things - good looking, smart, nice smelling, generous / and or nice

Never be drunk, boring, lecherous or obnoxious

Remember that money is only wages to the girls. If your going to try to impress by being rich, you had better be filthy rich.

How would you pull a lapdancer?

If you really like a girl, note when the girls are busy and not busy. She might like you, but if theres money to be made and you're not giving it her then she needs to get on with her job. If its quiet, there's no dances to be had, and you're good company and a little bit generous then who knows?

Dont assume she will sleep with you just because of her job.

Always pay for dances.

And finally, if she asks you for money for anything other than a dances, she isn't interested.
What advice would you give a stripper boyfriend?

Always be open and ask as many question as you need to trust your partner

Never go and watch her dance, just as you wouldn't expect your partner to come and watch you work

Be understanding that its a dirty job, and that she needs support about her looks / personality.

Learn to sleep with earplugs so she doesnt wake you up when she comes in at daft oclock

Pick 1 lie and stick to it regards her employment.

Dating a lapdancer - an ebook? Really?

OMG I am creasing up with laughter here on this crisp London winter stripper morning (thats lunchtime for you normal 9-5ers)

I just found an ebook that teaches YOU GUYS how to date STRIPPERS!!!!

It's one of those super long, rolling screens that takes ages to scroll down, offering EXTRA'S & DON'T MISS THIS malarky, before you finally reach the bottom and it offers a 100page ebook of awesomeness for twenty bucks.

I'm seriously laughing so hard in shock that something like this even exists.  I mean WTF? What kind of creamed corniness can be found within it's sacred pages of advice on chatting up a lapdancer? Is there a book on dating pornstars too? Chatting up your nurse as you go for a routine check?

Have I dated men I've met in the club? Of course I bloody well have, it's the law of averages that if you chat to ten/twenty/fifty different men every night, one day you will meet a guy that you like.  But I usually have really short term affairs with guys I meet in the club - they just never seem to work out.  A few dates, a quick shag or two, maybe even a little weekend away, and 'poof!' the magic disappears, we are both bored, the fantasy crumbles, and I'm back on my own two feet.

I'm researching dating advice for being the partner or husband of a lapdancer because I want to write an exhaustive series of posts on the topic.  I've been collating emails from several friends of mine, readers of this blog, and even (eek!) old boyfriends of my own, just so that I can get a mens perspective.  Some makes painful reading, other emails has had me laughing out loud!  I'm also checking a few of my favourite bloggers thoughts on the topic - Angry Stripper, for example, has a really funny post and comments war going on.

So basically, do you have any thoughts on the topic? Either drop a few comments here on the blog or email me sassylapdancer@hotmail.com

Thats dating advice or experiences, not invitations for the 6:30 show at the Odeon cinema boys....

Happy 2012!!