Wednesday, 18 May 2011

I like lapdancing! So why quit?

I'm a lapdancer.
But then I'm always asked "Why?"
Well I like it - I like lapdancing.

There, I said it.  I like lapdancing. I like my job, I like what I do, I like what it brings and what it does - is it really so strange to have a bit of job satisfaction?

Sure, I've had bad days.  I've had times when my job - my chosen career in fact - times when the job seemed to be too much.  I'd stomp off in a huff.  I'd fight back tears in the toilets.  I'd feel incandescent with rage - at the customers, the management, my fellow dancers and the assorted staff.  I'd come home and cry.

But doesn't everybody get days like that?

I've recently had the opportunity to try out a different career path - the office.  Nice, safe, dependable - a steady wage, with steady skills being gained, a steady crowd of fellow employees.  I found it, after years of stripping;

and totally frustrating.

The thing is, lapdancing is a career for many women, and yet; its not seen as valid by so much of society.
I'm lucky - blessed even, to have a network of family and friends who know what I do, don't mind - are only interested and intrigued even.  I live in London, one of the world's most cosmopolitan cities, and have people around me with sophisticated, modern attitudes and lives.  I blog and tweet about my experiences on a regular basis, and the general feedbackand comments are pretty positive.

Sure, I know that lapdancing can be a pretty bad experience for some women, for various reasons - and I fully support and champion changing that.  But I guess what I am trying to say, is
"why can't I enjoy my lapdancing job?"
In a way, I can't say I mind society's attitudes too much.  Perhaps, if I like lapdancing, its enough to keep it a secret.  I like lapdancing, I like being a lapdancer, but I like its social cachet too. Besides, if everybody likes lapdancing, wouldn't it make it as normal as the office?

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

London Slut Walk - Stand up & be a slut

So I'm a stripper from London, and proud of it - but will I join those who say they are proud to be a slut in London?
The London Slut Walk is to be held on the 4th June 2011 by the way, if you feel like ambling along in fishnets under a subversively named banner through the streets of central London.  It sounds like it could be quite fun really - getting all dressed up in your finest sluttiest togs, a sun-filled day out with a gaggle of girls - but it has a deeper political meaning.
For those who are unsure, the Slut Walk is part of a broader worldwide movement which was sparked by a Toronto policeman lecturing about the dangers surrounding rape.  I'm sure that the poor guy had a lot more to say to keep those college girls safe, but he'll only ever be remembered for one little aside, a mere throwaway comment; "women should avoid dressing like sluts".
Well, they should avoid dressing like sluts to avoid getting raped - thats what he said, basically, and boy is the poor ol' PC plod in a lot of hot water for saying it.

My last post or so discussed - or flaunted in a particularly boastful, look-at-me slutty manner - about the POWER that lay behind the standout slut outfit, and how something similar should be in every stripper's arsenal.
And then I noticed the comments in the media - 'slut' was being reclaimed for common parlance, like 'queer' was for gays (when will happy people reclaim the word 'gay', huh?- only joking)
What really tickled me at first was that so many wanted to be able to wear slutty clothes without the fear of getting raped.  Surely a slutty outfit is there to excite and arouse sexual desire in others - a corset and thong are not worn for their comfort or practicality.  You can't nip down to the shop in a pair of 6" perspex stiletto's, your money rolled up in a lacy garter across your thigh.  A latex jumpsuit was not invented because you can easily dance in it - or take a piss in a cramped cubicle.  Surely you wanted sexual attention - surely you are asking for it when you are dressed like a slut?
No.  No for two reasons - the first and most obvious is that no woman wants to be raped with impunity by randoms against her will.
But also no because, my view of a slutty outfit and what they do is completely and utterly subjective.  For christ's sake - I'm a stripper, looking like a slut is part of my job.
But if you are not a stripper, and still want to wear heels and fake tan and push-up bras and short skirts and pout provocatively in your £20 designer lipgloss - well why not?  You are a woman looking beautiful and enjoying herself.  A bit of attention might be nice, sure - but sexual assault?  Come on.  That would totally spoil a night out.

I think I've just talked myself into strolling through London on the 4th of June - but I'll leave my standout slut outfit at home and instead walk to reclaim sexy outfit wearing for sluts and non-sluts at the London Slut Walk.

Monday, 16 May 2011

Seductive Stringfellow Strippers

The Stringfellow Angel's have been a part of London nightlife for eons. Peter Stringfellow is famed for having the hottest women working as sexy strippers, night in, night out.  His Covent Garden club has been going for years, and has had its fair share of controversy and tabloid moments.

I got a chance to pop in as a customer recently, which made a nice change from being a dancer, as I had the girls dancing for me for a change.  I chose a brunette as my champion, very French looking - like a curvy Latietia Casta, with a delicious looking arse.  It was set off by an expensive looking black girdle and stockings, and waited under a little black dress, daring to spill out at any moment.  She had a remarkable way of taking off and playing with her panties, kicking her legs up and pulling them off like a saucy burlesque queen.  Those knickers were a focal point for the whole dance, as she nibbled on them, her pearly white teeth biting them as she pulled them all over the place.  It's a trick which, sadly, I don't do as much as I used too, but my smalls are going to get played with a lot more now that I've had a reminder!

When you walk into Stringfellows, it's all dark, plush velvet drapes falling onto an even plusher carpet.  It has two floors - one is baroque, but the downstairs is like a circus - it's crazy, and thats where all the action is.  I was really impressed by the standard of girls - most were fairly pretty, and there were a good dozen absolute stunners - real beautiful faces and bodies.  As a lapdancer myself, I appreciate the hard work that goes into looking good - and some girls looked really good.  The outfits for me were a bit same-y, little black/white dresses abounded, all in the same cut - but then in the Stripping world, Peter is renowned for having a strict dress code (and weight code - if a dancer gets too big she is suspended).  I like a bit more personality and zanieness in my outfits, but he goes for the classic ladylike seductress look I suppose).
There are lots of stripclubs in London - Stringfellows, Secrets, Spearmint Rhino, Windmill, For your eyes only, and of course the new Platinum Lace and the famous dives of the East End.  I'm going to try going in as a customer and review a few of them - or indeed just do a few shifts working at each - after talking to a girlfriend of mine who wanted some recommendations.  Poor lesbian, they know there are plenty of hot women dancing in these places but are too scared/not allowed to go in.  I might even bring her with me next time - there are a couple of lesbian stripper nights but no full-on, dedicated club that's women only in London.  But I'm glad I started the tour at Stringfellows - it's the most renowned club, earnings and looks wise, and the seductive strippers at stringfellows carry a lot of prestige on their sexy shoulders.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

The Standout Slut Outfit

Why look like a slut when you're a dancer? Well, the major problem for a girl trying to attract a guy when standing in a room full of beautiful women is that she is standing in a room full of beautiful women.  Like a peacock with it’s brilliant plumed tail, strippers must find ways to stand out. For times of emergency, break the glass – and pull on your STANDOUT SLUT OUTFIT!!!
A standout slut outfit needs to be composed of two main elements;
It must make a girl stand out from the others
It must scream slutty
The standout slut outfit works a charm if used properly.  You have to be feeling fairly confident and good about yourself or else it can backfire and you will be back to square one in hustling terms. (You don't want to look like a slut if you are feeling crappy - it will screw with your mojo and you will go home feeling cheap and deflated.) It should be used like a little black dress (LBD) – they are both easy choices, with little thought/effort or forward preparation required.  You literally pull it on, and voila! You are ready to go hustle.
For an outfit to stand out, you have to think bright.  A stripper will never be a standout slut if she wears a black lingerie set – that’s the LBD category, and half the girls in the club will be wearing their LBD failsafe on any given night.
White, flouros and glittery numbers work well here.
Lace and fishnet details are great, and helps show a lot of skin.
 An ideal standout slut outfit would be an all white lingerie twopiece with stockings set off against a dirty caramel tan and plenty of bling jewellery
 Or a racy red number covered in Swarvoski crystals, with shiny slick patent shoes or boots, and set off with a feather boa – just totally outrageously slutty, like a street hooker.  
But you have to not only channel the standout slut in your outfit, you have to channel the right kind of attitude to go with it.  Less abused and battered victim, more a ball-breaking, go-getting slut who is reclaiming the word slut and would march at the front of a Toronto Slut Walk.

Friday, 6 May 2011

Stripclub stereotypes #6: kiss and tell strippers

Everyone knows all footballers, sportsmen and famous reprobates love a strip club, so the temptation to be a kiss-and-tell-girl can be strong.  If you are a stealthy stripper – a fickle celeb fame-hunter, with Max Clifford on speed dial and a wall of ‘EXCLUSIVE! SCANDALOUS!’ newspaper front pages with your face on them, a career as a stripper can be seen as a potentially lucrative opportunity.  A decent story can net a girl 5 – 10 grand minimum, get her a few photo shoots in the national press, and a brief taste of the fickle flame of fame and notoriety.

So for all you discerning men out there with a reputation to protect, how do you spot a celeb-fame hunter kinda girl?

That’s the problem here – you can’t.
Perhaps go with your gut feeling, rather than the excited feeling which is building in your pants?

I would say that a good indicator that this is not the right girl to spend a night with would be;
If the doorman at the hotel knows her by name.
If your teammates wink and say – she’s trouble.
If she insists on taking lots of kinky photos during your session.
If she asks you to autograph the napkin you wrote your number down on.

I had a night recently in which I danced, again and again, for the cutest young man who made my heart pound and pussy moist – I guessed he was someone important, but as he had a crew of minders and was being deliberately vague I didn’t bother asking.  (He was hot and had money and adored moi – that’s all a girl needs to know.)  Imagine my surprise when I found him in a magazines hot young bachelor list!  Now luckily for him, I respect privacy, but for a different kind of woman, the temptation to take the night further and then sell the story  - well…. that's for a kiss-and-tell stripper to say

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Stripclub stereotypes #5 : The Lookalike

The lookalike affect sweeps through your average stripper demographic in waves.  Ever since Cheryl Cole became the nation’s sweetheart, all the dancers have gone brunette, with long luscious extensions falling in waves down their backs.  Shockingly, they now outnumber the blondes so much that some nights I am the only blonde in the club!
This trend is set to continue apace now that Kate Middleton, with her swingy brunette blowdry, is on the front cover of every tabloid looking fabulous, rich, and like the sexkitten who got the cream – and which dancing girl wouldn’t want to aspire to that?

Lookalikes fall into two camps – those who do it because they want to be like beautiful woman ‘Miss x’, and those who, frankly, look just like ‘Miss x’.  But seeing as the judging panel is made up of drunk and horny guys, who-looks-like-who is fairly debatable.  For example, I’ve been compared to;

both the ginger AND blonde one from Girls Aloud,
Betty Boo (???)
Marilyn Monroe
Scarlett Johannesen (yes please)
Kate Hudson
Debbie Harry (awesome)
Some girl off Neighbours
Some girl off Eastenders (eeek!)
And naturally, an ex-girlfriend/wife/daughter, although this usually means that there is no way in hell I’m getting a dance, unless the guy is totally perverted.

As you can see from the range above, dancers can look like all sorts of beautiful women.  But the rare lady who does actually look like a spitting image of a readily recognisable face – or body – is practically guaranteed to make bank with the gentleman present.

I knew a girl who was the absolute double for Pamela Anderson, and she did great – but not as well as a brunette with luscious REAL locks who looked like the provocative 15yr old Brooke Shields in the 1980s jeans ad. As she looked like every guys childhood fantasies, and had a friendly Australian accent to boot, her smile got her places – and dances.

Just goes to show that what men want can be triggered in all sortsa ways – including who you look like, past and present….