Best stripper songs to give a lap dance too

A stripper song is a piece of music which is either instantly associated with the art of lap-dancing, or has so many booty shaking references in it's lyrics/music video/ title - or a combination of all three.  They may not be the sexiest songs, sound wise, but they will make you take your clothes off.

The classic stripper song is naturally this brass-filled joy from David Rose in 1957;



However, in reality, this is often played at the end of the night as the final song, or perhaps as the backing music when a promotional offer is on.  I've given out branded items, such as DVD's or baseball caps, in the past, to scores of lucky guys.  If the stripclub offers a stag party stage show, this is the tune that they'll play as the poor man gets dragged up on stage to be whipped, pummelled and humiliated by several blood-thirty strippers.  It's the official Spearmint Rhino song for promos and stag parties, but the next song is famed for being Peter Stringfellow's free dance tune of choice;



If you venture into Stringfellows around midnight and this baby from Motley Crue starts up, grab a seat quick - it's topless teaser time!  The video is filled with gyrating exotic dancers on poles, the lyrics and title "Girls, Girls, Girls", are pretty self explanatory, and so simple that even the most drunken hillbilly can sing along to them.  It's also a short song, at barely over four minutes, which is great news for a strip club, as the average stripclub DJ will try and keep songs around the three and a half to four (ish) mark if possible.  Thats why that twenty pound went so quickly guys!!!

This song took over stripclubs all over the world when it came out a few years back.  "My girlfriend is a dancer - Titty dancer" by Dan Diamond - a punchy house music tune with a beat to grind to. It was the exotic dancers Marmite - you either loved it or hated it.  The lyrics rang true - we lie, we go on stage like a porn star, we count our money when we are on the phone - but giving head frequently? We don't do that in VIP!  Or do we.....?



If you hear this song come on whilst you are in a gentleman's club, take a look at the surrounding lapdancer's faces - some will be pulling faces, suddenly coming over like affronted feminists.  Others will be laughing and singing along like demented teenagers, banging their heels in time to the beat and jiggling their own big titties to the chorus line of "she's a dancer...a titty dancer".

A more heartfelt song of yearning for a lapdancer is T-Pain's "I'm in love with a stripper".  If the girls are having a bad night, this is a great song to hear, as it makes a woman feel really good - it goes on about how beautiful she is, her fantastic 'popping and locking skillz' (that's dancing skills sweethearts if you are from this side of the pond), and of course, it's a LOVE SONG FOR A STRIPPER.  Thereby proving that love is possible even for women who display themselves for money in the more vanilla side of the sex industry.



To finish off - geddit!?! "You can leave your hat on" by Joe Cocker.  Actually, this would make a great song to start a routine too, as everyone finds it funny after it was used in that miners movie, "The Full Monty".


Well that's my list of stripper themed songs to give a lapdance too.  As regular readers will have noted, I've attempted to put the accompanying you tube videos on this post.  This is my first try in two years of writing this blog, so if they don't work, please tell me and I'm deeply sorry.  If you really want to hear them, start frequenting stripclubs more often - they'll get played, I promise.  Another post is planned for great songs to strip too - I've got a few dancing favourites, what are yours?

Check out this post for great songs to give a lapdance or stageshow to....

It's a LONG night in Mayfair

One of my stripping buddies took me out tonight to say thank you.
That was nice - or so I thought...

She had organised a table at Funky Buddha and a Queen room for the pair of us at the Mayfair hotel - we have been working together a lot recently and had made some great money, plus she had stayed at mine after, being an out-oftowner and all.

It was all going swimmingly.
We met up, had cocktails at the bar before popping into the room and helped each other get ready. We shared make-up, straightened and curled those stray bits of hair the other couldn't quite reach, tried on each others outfits, gave accessories advice....

We covered the smoke alarm with a shower cap and smoked out of the window as we drank a chilled bottle of room service Veuve Clicquot

Then, happy, buzzy and slightly stumbling we trotted across the road to Funky Buddha - where my girlie partner in crime promptly met an old flame.

That's when she got really, really drunk and it all began to go wrong

I savour my nights off, and nights out - usually I use my spare time to sit at home, get stoned and chill with pals over a dinner party or alone with a bottle of rioja and a box set.

So tonight felt like a real slap in the face. It was all going so well till a guy got in the way.  It's just that stripper nights out always carry this risk.

Dancers are generally neurotic, slightly asexual creatures - we insist on very high and exact standards in our men as we meet guys every night of our working lives.  many girls nurture and breed complexes - such as; 'don't tell me what to do', 'lets do THAT now', in 'THIS' way, and what can we get out of it, ad infinitum.

It's sad to help a fellow worker dry her tears in the toilet, as you try and make her understand that she is being spoilt and acting slightly odd and unhinged. If a guy comes on to her at a nightclub, she goes on the defensive - 'this is my night off, stop getting in my space', totally forgetting that this is what men do, all the time, everywhere, not just at work.

I'd love to sign off this post saying that I have learnt my lesson, but truth be told, I enjoy wild crazy nights out with beautiful, sexual and predoratory women just as much as anybody, so I'm sure it will happen again soon.

In fact, there is a night out planned next week with girls from Stringfellows, Spearmint Rhino and For  Your Eyes Only....

Lapdancing advertising - great or disgusting?

I noticed that 2 girls were fined for 'defacing' a poster promoting Spearmint Rhino, which reminded me of a another poster incident last year, when Rhino were given a good spanking by the ASA for a 'Back to School' poster.
Even at 4am, as I sat in a smelly cab on my way home from my stripclub, it made me think - as a dancer, I want all the promotion for lapdancing clubs, their nights, prices, and how cool they are, as the industry can get.  It gets customers in through the door after all.  But is at a price of offending the general public, and is it promoting distasteful attitudes and morals?

Now, I don't know how I feel about the back 2 school poster, as I have a schoolgirl outfit myself and do very well in it, thankyou.   I also really like Spearmint Rhino - as a club, there are lots of fairly friendly girls, the bouncers and management are, well, they are never going to be friendly, as men who work in stripclubs almost always have an attitude problem, but they do have listening abilities and say hello, and don't sleep or pressurise the girls that I have heard of, so as stripclubs go, its not that bad....

But advertising a sexy schoolgirl night? It's an ad-campaign that will work, and get punters through the door, because the sexualisation of schoolgirls happens at club nights and fancy dress parties all over the country. But I agree with the ASA on this one - schoolgirls shouldn't be associated with the promotional material for mainstream stripclubs, that have massive posterboards spread all over the world.

In the other story, the poor two girls were CAUGHT MID-ACT (oh, honey, can't you be more of a street-smart feminist?) and fined £80 for scrawling 'WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS' on the posters advertising a new Leicester stripclub (again Spearmint Rhino).  Whilst this story was incredibly funny during my 4am journey home, I feel proud that there are still female activists out there that feel that lapdancing is a dehumanising industry, because, in sooooo many ways, it really is.  

I was a lapdancing activist last year, when a whole host of club management and strippers protested against new Government legislation that classified lapdancers as 'sex-workers'.  Waving a placard around and shouting slogans was great fun, and so my hat goes off to anyone who makes a stand - whether its for my industry or against it.

Just don't stop any punters walking through the doors, ok?  

The schoolgirl poster is one I definately recognise, and you can read about the story on my favourite Sunday paper, the Guardian's website here; http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/nov/10/spearmint-rhino-poster-asa

The graffitied poster can be found on the good ol' Beeb website; http://cdnedge.bbc.co.uk/local/leicester/hi/people_and_places/newsid_9357000/9357750.stm

P.S. I always get worried when I provide direct links to websites, so if I have done an internet boo-boo please leave a comment and i will sharpen up my manners....

How to vogue whilst topless

Last night at my club was 80s night, so I got to strip off to some totally awesome tunes. In fact, I spent half my stage show singing along, albeit badly and with huge chunks of lyrics wrong or missing. Great thing is, the stage is so big no-one could hear anyway.....

I boogied to:
Madonna : en vogue, holiday, like a prayer
Katrina and the waves : walking on sunshine
Prince : raspBerry beret
And a whole load of karaoke faves that I can't remember the details off
I'm a career dancer, in that this is the profession I've dedicated all of my 20s too so far, despite my degree and various talents.

So when you've spent so much time being sexy and desirable, acting out your character to seduce punters, it's great sometimes to let your hair down and have a silly style hustle night at work.
In fact, I would go as far as to say that it takes courage to take your eye off the ball and act a bit different.
Still, there's always tomorrow night for a girl like me.....

Stripper migration

This past week has been hell on earth. I have friends in all the major clubs in London - spearmint rhino, stringfellows, platinum lace, for your eyes only, secrets, hustler, Mayfair,browns, parkers, even the small seedy dives in soho and the east end. If I have a couple of slow nights in a row, I call up my friends and see what the crack is. Now I'm not the type of gypsy dancer who roams around all the clubs - I've been fairly faithful to mine for a few years now. No, I just like to get a feel for how the scene is, that's all, and it's a great excuse to gossip......

Well the word on the street?

IT'S CRAP EVERYWHEREGIRLS!!!!

Yep, there were long faces and tears in quite a few changing rooms last week, with unusual consequences. A few cat fights on and off the floor, another girl blamed her new brunette look and hit the (bleach) bottle, the bouncers got heavy in asking for tips, and of course there was a stripper migration.
The stripper migration was pretty major this time too, with even a few top earners changing allegiance - stringfellows angels moonlighting as platinum lace lovelies or spearmint hustlers.... Will they stay??? Watch this space