Thursday, 28 April 2011

Stripclub Stereotypes #4 ; Prince Charming

Every girl - even the hardest hitting hustler - dreams of a prince to whisk her away and protect her.  Could you be Prince Charming?  If you are the kind of man that wants to make a poor dancing girls dreams come true, here is a rough guide;

  • Looks and charm are key.  A princess-in-waiting needs her prince to stimulate her senses, till her heart beats so fast her perched nipples stand to attention.  Don't worry if you are not top banana in the looks department - fake the princely look with a smart suit, an artfully placed handkerchief and affect an accent. After a couple of bottles of champagne and enough compliments to make the Queen herself blush, even the biggest busted and stone hearted stripper will have booze goggles and will be hanging on your every word ( and dollar).
  • Please suggest the VIP before she does - a gurl likes to be rushed off her feet.  But no hardcore dancing I am afraid - you want to gaze into her eyes and discover the lady within.
  • Channel Cinderella - spend all night and pots of cash on the dazzled girl then disappear just before the club closes, leaving only a crumpled business card and a half finished bottle of Cristal.
  • Keep her waiting until your next visit, and upon your arrival, insist very loudly that whilst you will be a proper gent and buy the rejected girls a drink, you wait only for your special woman.  This way the other dancers will think that you are a decent sort of chappie and respect your obvious adoration and desires for said dancer-in-waiting.
Knowing us girls after all this the other dancers will probably hot-foot it to the changing room/stage/their pals/another customer and spill - gossip spreads like wildfire in a strip club environment.  

You may feel the hairs pricking on the back of your neck as you feel the full force of a stripclub full of beautiful women desiring you and men wanting to be you.  You'll be the Prince rocking the party so make sure the champagne keeps flowing, money keeps flying through the air, and the two of you laugh louder than anybody else in the room.

Before you'll know it you will be envied by all in the club as the ultimate suave Prince Charming who got the girl and turned her into a Princess for the night.


Lee said...

I think I kinda did this, I was out with some of my banker friends (I'm not one) and ended up in a vip room with a nice girl, where we attempted some ballroom dancing and then sang Eternal Flame by the Bangles to each other before leaving never to return .. I'd like to think that night became like a legend in the stripper world, may be you heard rumors about me !!!

Anonymous said...

whats a prince to do with a heart of gold and a pocket full of copper coins...