Friday, 16 September 2011

Achey-Breaky lapdancer

As work has been slow I've had to pull a lot of shift's in and run - nay, sprint - around the club pouncing on customer's as soon as they walk through the doors.  I am now feeling very achey-breaky indeed, not a nubile and lithe lapdancer who has made pots of money very easily and can get daily massages by horny Chinese women in back alley parlours.

Boys and Men, you are not helping me with my achey-breaky predicament.  On Tuesday and Wednesday, I got asked repeatedly to bend over whilst giving a lapdance.  I know you want to see my pussy - hell, I know you paid to see it - but do I really have to bend over at your say so just so that you can all have a look?  Whilst pussy's are very interesting and pretty, my spine is not liking this up and down bendy thing, especially as I have also been battering it in bouts of extreme Bikram yoga.

My spine has written a formal letter of complaint, which is currently written in pain all over my shoulders.  Like most letter's of complaint, I am going to ignore it for now, as I have a Friday and Saturday night to get through, and the drunken louts who come in on the weekends will be raring to see girls who are bendier, flexier and more willing than their wives and girlfriends at home, who are quite rightly probably holding all forms of sexy time back, and are not willing to pander to all their dirty fantasies when there is washing up to be done.

After these Olympian feats of prowess I am now one achey-breaky lapdancer, and feel like singing Father William "Oh, alas, my bone's are old, my knees are weak"

Luckily for my tired ol' bone's, I have a lovely freestanding bath which as I write is filling itself with bubbles and steaming hot water.  I am going to jump in it right now, and transform from achey-breaky lapdancer to my usual sexy, sassy little self.


Anonymous said...

so you realise youre being paid to show your pussy but then you complain when you're asked to show it?

The Strip Club Insider said...

Drink more water...