Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Sexy Santa Stripper's outfit - good or bad this year?

Any stripper worth her salt loves dressing up and the holiday season is, for me, the really exciting time when I dust off my furs and ermine and dress as Santa's little helper for as many shifts in December as I can manage.
You might think that with the current financial climate that a lapdancer should play it safe and stick to black lingerie and the LBD.... WRONG!
Guy's love a woman in a decent santa outfit.  They are all out on their annual Christmas do.  These are guys who visit stripclubs but once or twice a year, they have been drinking all day and are  operating in a pack mentality.  Not a violent, sarcastic pack of men trying to get one up on each other, like you get with Saturday nights stag do's.  No, these guys are going to be loud, drunk, but reasonably well behaved - well their boss is with them, overseeing the proceedings after all!  So wearing something in red or white that the guys can chat and joke over is a great conversation starter and dance getter.
A stripping christmas outfit falls in two camps - the Christmas themed teeny weeny bikini versus the fun cover-up dress.  Here's a picture of a girl in Hooter's - she has found a hotpants and bikini set and stuck tinsel on it.  That still making an effort, although a real stripper wouldn't be likely to wear something so scratchy that you can't pull on or off easily.
Thanks to Stinkie Pinkie at Flickr.

Now I've got a fairly good body which is toned and trim most of the time, but I do tend to over-indulge in the winter months.  I have a few similar versions of this outfit - red and white bikini's with a fur trim, that sort of thing.  They look good with lashings of fake tan and body glitter and lots of spangly diamante jewellery.
However, if I've had too many mince pies or want to look less slutty, more glam - say for a midweek crowd, then it's good to have a proper cover-up dress. Of course I am a lapdancer so my version of a cover up would look something like this;
thanks to photognome at Flickr!
This is a cover up as....
  • The stripy stockings mean that I could not shave my legs that day.
  • The big belt would hide any mince pie bloating
  • The little cape would keep me warm and snuggly - perfect in a nippy stripclub, or as a comfort blanket if I'm working through stripper-flu.
  • I'd only need to fake tan my top half. 5 minutes till I'm on stage? no problemo...

So to summarise - get your lapdancer's body into a santa's outfit this week! It may be gloomy weather and economic prospects, but that's why there are beautiful girls on this world ready to take their clothes off and spread their festive cheer!

P.S.  Unless, like me, your co-workers are all wearing bloody Santa's little helper outfits. In which case wear the black lingerie - you will stand out more!

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