How to choose the perfect 'long dress' for gentleman's club auditions

Last week I received an email from a lovely girl who wanted to get into lapdancing, but was confused by what the club meant by 'long dress'.

"What about the clubs, where they say you need to wear an evening dress? What does it mean? Is it so posh? Do I really have to wear long dress?"

I remember back in the day when I first rang up a gentleman's club and asked about their auditioning process.  They insisted on 'long dresses', which my newbie brain found thoroughly confusing.  Surely an exotic dancer wore as little as possible, with easily removable teeny-weeny string binkini's and thongs that disappeared up their jiggling bottoms? 

My entire back-catalogue of lapdancing experience came from watching 'Showgirls' which isn't even about stripping per se but is set in Vegas; "I'm a dancer!" cries Naomi Malone.
If you have never seen this cult classic buy it immediately it's the purest example of something so awful, so bad, that it's good. Here's an Amazon link Showgirls [BLU-RAY] [UNCUT VERSION] [DUTCH IMPORT]  
For now, here's a clip because I can't help this guilty pleasure....

But if you are ready to follow in Showgirl's footsteps, what does a girl wear?

A long dress when you are a lapdancer is basically a dress that has all or part of it falling below your knee.  The rest of it can look like a spider-web of tiny gossamer thin strands that leaves little to the imagination, but it must have one tiny strand falling down one leg till it hovers just above your ankle.  Strange but true.

A decent 'long stripping outfit' is a key part of any dancers wardrobe. With this a girl will be able  to audition at any club in the country, and will be able to start work immediately or continue working if the club changes the rules overnight.  I have lost count of the number of times a gentleman's club has relaxed the rules on dress-code, only to tighten them up again 6 months later as the girls look too sleazy or the management changes.  Many girl's initially scream with glee when the rules get relaxed as we prefer miniskirts to ballgowns,  but woe betide the dancer who throws away her long dresses as 'she doesn't need them anymore.' WRONG!

So what makes a great lapdancer outfit? It must be very flattering on the girl, comply with the club's dress code and be easy to take off in a graceful and sexy manner.

  

This lapdancer dress is from a British company "SassyAss" specialising in pole dancing outfits with a fantastically Sassy sounding name just like me! Either my blog name wasn't as original as I thought it was or there's something about stripping and sassiness that just goes together like a horse and carriage and love and marriage.
Anyway, this is your standard dancer's dress. It's a nice bright colour so you stand out amongst all the other girls, you can get away with no bra or stick a nice padded cleavage enhancing bra underneath if you want. I've had this dress style several times before in red and purple and they were great to dance in.
For true sassiness, I'd suggest a bra in a contrasting colour - hot pink perhaps, or black.  Most lapdancer's only match their outfits to their lingerie when it's black and more black, or it's fantasy night. Taste goes out of the window the rest of the time as we like to stand out from the crowd.

If a bright dress like this seems a bit daunting, a good long dress would be something like this one.  I really like wearing dresses with well-positioned cut-outs and a thigh high slash - they move really well and feel a bit  S & M dominatrix-ish.

This 'Tiger' dress comes in black as well, and would look great with some sheer black stockings and some bling jewellery.  I've had a similar one before, and it fell really nicely whether I was posing on the stage or sat down talking to a customer - it's revealing, but not overly so.

If you are a girl lucky enough to be blessed with a really fabulous pair of tits, or perhaps you have just had a boob-job and want to show those beauties off to the world, then you need a dress that drapes around your cleavage but won't let your tits flop out all over the place when you move.

If you want to cover up a little, but still want to show off your gorgeous curves, wear a well cut number like the red one below which comes in a slinky fabric - very tactile for those guys who have itchy fingers and like to stroke a girl.

Finally, if you are tall and gorgeous, with great collarbones and face, and especially if you have very long hair or a short pixie crop, then trust me - wear a body-stocking style dress in a sheer or lace fabric.  It's a lot of fabric, so it can be a bit restricting, so not good if you want to really rock the pole tricks, but I've seen men go ga-ga for girls who wear a bodystocking tube dress like the ones below;

I hope that this post solves the enigma which is the 'long dress'.  Remember that this is a uniform, and will be crucial to how customers - and the management & girls - perceive you.
As a general rule of thumb; Black =classy, colours=fun, fishnet or cutouts=slutty


A good dress will last a girl for many, many shifts - I've got dresses that are over five years old, other's that have been handed down to me by dancer's leaving the business.  They are worth the money and investment, even if the initial outlay seems a little pricey at first - you will make it back.  Try looking in local markets or the high street, but if you really want to look like a dancer, and have a dress that looks good when you are moving about  on stage, in a booth, or VIP, I suggest that you buy from a proper stripping supplier (the ones above, bar Blue Banana, are all lapdancer-orientated companies).

Of course dancer's also wear short dresses, but I will address that in a future post.

Happy Shopping and Dancing; Good Luck with the Auditions Girls!!!