Would you take your girlfriend to a lapdancing club?

I think lots of London women would go to a lapdancing club like Platinum Lace.  Its sexy, naughty, fun - and you know that the loitering women with hungry eyes want your man - and can't have him.... as he's with you, and you control his wallet, ha ha ha...

I laughed as I read the Evening Standard article today

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/lifestyle/article-23922147-would-you-ever-take-your-girlfriend-to-watch-a-lapdancer.do

In a full two page spread - accompanied with some slightly surreal shots of some dancer pals of mine, one of my favourite journalists, Simon English, grilled Simon Warr, another old pal of mine, on how he wanted to change the lapdancing industry in the UK for good - and for the better...

(God, I'm sorry if I sound totally nepotistic in the above paragraph, but really - the London lapdancing scene is fairly small and I do like reading a good newspaper article)

It worried me that in these recessionistic times the average earn of '£300-£500' a night was plastered all over the place - I usually come home with £100-150, after costs, but of course can and do earn more than that, especially on busy nights.  I feel sorry for my pals at Platinum Lace - the doors will be swinging with many an auditionee over the next week, although I'm sure the publicity will bring the customers in too.

I remember the 2003 police raids on Spearmint Rhino - it was when I was just starting as a dancer, and I thought it was normal.  It was petrifying - girl after girl disappearing with no warning, sacked for misdemeanours or soliciting or prostitution - this is what we were told by the grumpy 'little Hitler' staff, but I remember thinking, 'really? her?'  Now there have been so many faces, and so many shock stories, I don't blink an eyelid - but it whilst I understand the scare tactics used to prevent the remaining dancers to behave, its a shame that some many girls names are now tainted in my mind.  Girls who may have lent me a helping hand as I started out on my first few nights as a lapdancer....

Still though, I admire Simon Warr, who has now left Spearmint Rhino to set up his own chain of super-brand strip clubs, 'Platinum Lace'.  I've worked in his latest Piccadilly Circus flagship, and its gorgeous - I would have stayed if there had been a more regular stream of punters.

Maybe in the future, I'll go back - Simon Warr, like the journalist said, I wish you luck....

My feet are f**ked

Owch.

My new shoes are killing me.... but they are sexy as hell, and goddamit, i am so bored of the normal stripper-style shoes.

Usually, I would wear some monstrous 6" or, if I'm feeling brave, 9" creation.  Maybe, they might have a little sparkle round the toe, or perhaps a novelty design - fish, dollarbills, flashing lights everytime I put weight on the heel.
But then, around 2 years ago, I got BORED of looking like a damn stripper all the time, and wanted to go a bit more old-school - get some of that burlesque frou-frou going on.  It started with these beautiful bad-boys;

These gorgeous creations are by 'Pleaser", and they cost about £50 in Camden market, which is THE place to go for stripper attire in London.  It's not because they cater for strippers, (they cater for goths and trendies) its because nowhere in London caters for strippers now that all the joints in Soho have been replaced by shops full of naughty lingerie and sex toys, but not much for the working girls of London town.  

Anyway, now I'm bored even of the beautiful red shoes... so I've gone high street.

The high street is FULL of 6" platforms - and they are so inventive - blue velvet, sequins, bows, ruffles - Kurt Geiger has a leopard ponyskin pair that I want to have sex with...

Thing is, these high street bad boys may look better than stripper platforms, but they weren't made for dancing an 8hour shift in.  Or climbing poles, or gyrating your butt whilst your knees take the strain.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to go back to perspex, because after a Christmas season, I've got the beginning of a big toe callous, and an appointment with a chiropodist for a potentially bruised/broken toe.....

Sigh.....

Loving this top 100!!!

Feeling kinda inspired and tingly reading some of the blogs included on the awesome "Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2010" list that I just randomly googled;

http://www.betweenmysheets.com/top-100-sex-bloggers-of-2010#comment-12357

Before you even read the blogs, the names and titles come out and hit you hard.  WHAM!!! I mean talk about a page-turner - some of these titles had me clicking on the link faster than the speed of sound.

For example;

59:  Black Pearl from The Filthy Ramblings of a Dirty Girl on Lock

21:  Mistress Arabella from Bombshells & Rockstars

31:  TitsMcScandal from The Blogging Slave

97:  Shirley from Reptillian Prostitute

and my personal fave;

68:  Wilhemina from Heartbreak Nymphomania

Don't these titles sound cool? enticing? sexy?

To be honest, I created this blog one night as I came home from work.  And the 'whats the point...' wasn't meant to be informative - it wasn't to actually tell the reader why anyone would want to be one.  No. 

I was angry, it was late, and I wanted to let rip, let all those pent-up emotions go forth on the keyboard.  I can't remember what the first post said, whether you could hear the anger or whether I was trying to be cathartic and slowly tap, tap, tapping away till the energy had left me and I could finally get some sleep.

I don't know.  You can go check it out if you like - it'll be on the blog roll somewhere.

I'm kinda jealous that all the other bloggers have such cool names.  

This isn't my first blog.  My first blog was called 'the stripper bride', and I started it as I had a close knit, almost exhausting relationship with a controlling guy, and I felt a conflict between my job as a lapdancer, and my responsibilities as a girlfriend.  It;s fairly moany - I was in a really dark place, I think, at the time, but if you want to read me sounding like a teenager you can find it here; http://thestripperbride.blogspot.com/

The funny/depressing thing about it is that if you compare the two, you can begin to guess how long I've been in the business - it's dated 2006....

Of course, I'm still dancing, and yes, I still look about 22....

Who says lapdancing is bad for you??

Lapdancing advertising - great or disgusting?

I noticed that 2 girls were fined for 'defacing' a poster promoting Spearmint Rhino, which reminded me of a another poster incident last year, when Rhino were given a good spanking by the ASA for a 'Back to School' poster.
Even at 4am, as I sat in a smelly cab on my way home from my stripclub, it made me think - as a dancer, I want all the promotion for lapdancing clubs, their nights, prices, and how cool they are, as the industry can get.  It gets customers in through the door after all.  But is at a price of offending the general public, and is it promoting distasteful attitudes and morals?

Now, I don't know how I feel about the back 2 school poster, as I have a schoolgirl outfit myself and do very well in it, thankyou.   I also really like Spearmint Rhino - as a club, there are lots of fairly friendly girls, the bouncers and management are, well, they are never going to be friendly, as men who work in stripclubs almost always have an attitude problem, but they do have listening abilities and say hello, and don't sleep or pressurise the girls that I have heard of, so as stripclubs go, its not that bad....

But advertising a sexy schoolgirl night? It's an ad-campaign that will work, and get punters through the door, because the sexualisation of schoolgirls happens at club nights and fancy dress parties all over the country. But I agree with the ASA on this one - schoolgirls shouldn't be associated with the promotional material for mainstream stripclubs, that have massive posterboards spread all over the world.

In the other story, the poor two girls were CAUGHT MID-ACT (oh, honey, can't you be more of a street-smart feminist?) and fined £80 for scrawling 'WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS' on the posters advertising a new Leicester stripclub (again Spearmint Rhino).  Whilst this story was incredibly funny during my 4am journey home, I feel proud that there are still female activists out there that feel that lapdancing is a dehumanising industry, because, in sooooo many ways, it really is.  

I was a lapdancing activist last year, when a whole host of club management and strippers protested against new Government legislation that classified lapdancers as 'sex-workers'.  Waving a placard around and shouting slogans was great fun, and so my hat goes off to anyone who makes a stand - whether its for my industry or against it.

Just don't stop any punters walking through the doors, ok?  

The schoolgirl poster is one I definately recognise, and you can read about the story on my favourite Sunday paper, the Guardian's website here; http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/nov/10/spearmint-rhino-poster-asa

The graffitied poster can be found on the good ol' Beeb website; http://cdnedge.bbc.co.uk/local/leicester/hi/people_and_places/newsid_9357000/9357750.stm

P.S. I always get worried when I provide direct links to websites, so if I have done an internet boo-boo please leave a comment and i will sharpen up my manners....

How to vogue whilst topless

Last night at my club was 80s night, so I got to strip off to some totally awesome tunes. In fact, I spent half my stage show singing along, albeit badly and with huge chunks of lyrics wrong or missing. Great thing is, the stage is so big no-one could hear anyway.....

I boogied to:
Madonna : en vogue, holiday, like a prayer
Katrina and the waves : walking on sunshine
Prince : raspBerry beret
And a whole load of karaoke faves that I can't remember the details off
I'm a career dancer, in that this is the profession I've dedicated all of my 20s too so far, despite my degree and various talents.

So when you've spent so much time being sexy and desirable, acting out your character to seduce punters, it's great sometimes to let your hair down and have a silly style hustle night at work.
In fact, I would go as far as to say that it takes courage to take your eye off the ball and act a bit different.
Still, there's always tomorrow night for a girl like me.....

Bankers count their pennies

This is a short post, but it doesn't need much to sum up the scene in London at the moment.

I met a really nice guy who worked for HSBC banking recruitment today. He earnt at least a grand a week plus bonus - which would have been announced around this time of year.

It was perfect - we got on like a house on fire, he thought I was gorgeous, basically my night was in the bag.

Or so I thought...

Turns out he's only been out in the west end 6 times in the past year. Seems he likes saving not spending. Wants a cottage in the country, even though he finds the suburbs boring.

I told him that he spends more on travel than going out.
I even pointed out that with rising inflation, it's best to spend not save this year - especially as he could claim back tonight on expenses.

He spent £50 on dances and drank beer all night.
Apparently he's not comfortable spending money, just making it....

Oops I did it again

Oops seems I have done it again.

What, you ask?

That's exactly the thought that was running through my mind tonight. It's barely midnight, it's a Monday, it's raining outside and both the streets ofnlobfon and my club are empty.

So i might have had a few drinks, but so what? Apparently whatever I've done is enough to piss a bouncer off. So he shouts at me, then I complain in the changing room over what a cock he us, then a manager overhears and before you know it

WHAM! A big fat £50 fine.

If you think I am being vague over what happened, it's because I don't know what happened. Specifically some lame customer complained about me - I refused to let him touch me in the dance, so he snitched to a bouncer that I had ripped him off. Usually this kind of complaint would be ignored, but he had to choose the bouncer that didn't like me....