Stripper migration

This past week has been hell on earth. I have friends in all the major clubs in London - spearmint rhino, stringfellows, platinum lace, for your eyes only, secrets, hustler, Mayfair,browns, parkers, even the small seedy dives in soho and the east end. If I have a couple of slow nights in a row, I call up my friends and see what the crack is. Now I'm not the type of gypsy dancer who roams around all the clubs - I've been fairly faithful to mine for a few years now. No, I just like to get a feel for how the scene is, that's all, and it's a great excuse to gossip......

Well the word on the street?

IT'S CRAP EVERYWHEREGIRLS!!!!

Yep, there were long faces and tears in quite a few changing rooms last week, with unusual consequences. A few cat fights on and off the floor, another girl blamed her new brunette look and hit the (bleach) bottle, the bouncers got heavy in asking for tips, and of course there was a stripper migration.
The stripper migration was pretty major this time too, with even a few top earners changing allegiance - stringfellows angels moonlighting as platinum lace lovelies or spearmint hustlers.... Will they stay??? Watch this space

HAZARD WARNING - SEASONAL CHANGES

Europe is currently gripped by some serious nasty weather.  There have been mudslides in Italy, droughts and wildfires in Russia, and England has - well not as dramatic, but rain, wind and general ickiness.

We all hate this time of year, as changes in the seasons usually heralds colds, runnynoses - and that definately happens if you happen to be parading half-naked/butt-naked, all alone on a draughty stage whilst the snivelling general public thrust dirty money into your hands, usually after wiping their noses.  And did I mention the air-con?

I really, really dislike getting a cold.  Usually it means I miss a few shifts at the club - and as I am self-employed, thats not good.  However, as I am currently pulling a few shifts a week in an office, it means I have to let down two groups of people, as well as losing out on two lots of money. 

On top of that, the getting-a-cold-season happens to conincide neatly with the getting-money-season.

So today I had to stay at home.  I think I caught my virus from the IT guy who sits behind me - no joke!!
But sods law, today was also rememberence day, so the TV was full of war programmes such as a Battle of Arnhelm special - a battle which my Grandad, who sadly passed away a few years ago -took part in as a Paratrooper.  Sods Law times two - there was also a black tie event in aid of rememberence day, and my club was expecting a load of guests, who would've usually LOVED me.

So as a snivelly stripper with tears in her eyes, I am going to go sleep with a Lemsip  xoxo

Stripping psychology

This is just so funny - yet so true, in a weird way, that I am going to post the link and will comment on it later on.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-trenches/201002/lessons-lap-dancer

It was getting to the end of the night and although it was kinda busy I still hadn't made much money. I was just at the edges of feeling really tired and hungry too - I hadn't brought any snacks in and been at the office all day and had then had a Hammamm spa treatment so, yeah, basically all I had had was lunch and an apple. That may be enough for ur average skinny model wannabe but I'm the kinda pony that does pretty aerobic stuff right through to three/four am.

So it's getting to the end of the night like I said and a little voice in my head is thinking "screw it, well at least you tried. A hundred quid in ur pocket is better than a slap in the face"
But then the other voice in my head is egging me on "you're here now, you may as well work to the end - remember your goals and debts"
So I decided just one more client, give it all you've got, grab a few last dances then go home.  It's the sort of inner chatter self compromise you make at 1am. 
The guyturned out to be sweet, it was his first time even though he was easily 50, and had actually worked on the lighting installation whenthe club was firstbuilt. He was complaining to me that he had had ten dances and still hadn't got off. Now a disgruntled customer Can be hard to work with, but with 10 dances under his belt he could obviously be persuaded to have more, you just have to find the right angle.   
So I did a naughty thing, for me anyway, and said that I could get him off in the VIP. Not full blown sex or anything, but I could get him off and he would leave happy - I hate to see a first timer leave my club unhappy.
I know lots of strippers say this all day long, but leading and lying really ain't my bag usually. But like I said, I was tired, hungry, and if I didn't get any dough off this guy I was going home.

Surprise surprise I got him in VIP for half hour and I felt like a lying shit making excuses when I was in there. He was such a sweetie too and blamed the bouncer interruptions not me. 

It's the next day now and the money will go towards paying my huge credit card bill. They won't lower my interest but secretly hiked it too 34.5%, so I am afraid I am just gonna have to be a bit tough on you clients till it's paid off, alright????

I LOVE NFL MONDAYS!!!

I had my first office to stripclub shift on Monday and boy was it eventful. A big group of americanfootballers came in, I thought they were the miMi dolphins but they turned out to be the San Fran 49ers. Hey, how am I to know the difference? They were all huge tall guys , with dark black skin rippled with muscles. I couldn't stop touching them , their arms, those six packs - definitely not ur average British guy. They had cute accents and funny ballsy american chat up lines and pearly White teeth which shone like beacons in the bright spotlights of my club.
The best BEST bit tho had to be when I got up on stage. Now I hadbeen working my charms on one footballer in particular but hadn't got a penny ,(or dime)outta him yet. But he was a yank, and boy do they love to tip on stAge, so when I heArd the DJ call me up next song I dropped some pretty heavy hints. In fact, my hints couldn't have been more specific; I pointed out the stage i would be performing on, that I would be there for exactly two songs, and I would be very disappointed if he didn't watch and fold a note into hismouth so I could grab it with my teeth tits toes whatever.
He did brilliantly!!!! Strolled over second song and began showering me with five pound notes. Then his mates saw and wanted to join in so they came over and started chucking dance tokens at at me!!
The rest of the night, all of the other dancers were like, sent u the girl who got loads of tips on stage??? I felt so lucky and special. A proper SUPERSTRIPPER

I am currently sitting at my office desk. Under it lies a big leads bag filled with dancer clothes, 6" heels and long lashes. I am petrified my boss will catch me out, see my naughty bits and deduce that I am much more than your average admin assistant....
It's also making me kinda horny....not that I want to screw anyone in this office but I am pretty sure they would screw me given half a chance......OMB my boss crept up and looked over my shoulder as I wrote that. - thank god his eyesight can't read an iPhone from that height. Note to self - don't write about snagging people at work when I actually am at work

Back to stripping....

Sorry folks that I have been so quiet over the summer. I randomly got given an office job and thought, hell why not grow up and wear a suit?
Well that train of thought has lasted an entire six months and I am itching to get back to being me, sassy by name and sassy by (naked)nature!

Working in an office has had good and bad points:

Good; I am paying proper tax, have developed a 5 day a week work ethic, now super organised, and have a killer line in Thomas pink shirts and pinstripe.

Bad; I mustsa put on half a stone, no time for a daily exfoliation and pampering regime, White skin as I don't bother with fake tan, and I am completely broke - I have never had to budget for a whole month before!

Well guys n gals, you will be glad to hear that I have managed to renegotiate my hours to half days. I had to bullshit some sob story about difficulties at my family restaurant (read- stripcl o)