Fellow bloggers and lapdancers, I am faced with a hard truth today. Or tonight rather, even though it is 8.22am, I only barely just got home and my mind is racing...
I went out for dinner with some pals of mine, dear successful pals who are in a loving and stable - albeit kinky, relationship and marriage. They alerted me to some hard truths, and I feel compelled to share them with you.
Basically, in their eyes, I fuck successful, yet date 'woof-woofs'.
The men I date are pushovers, artistic ttypes, who are always about to break into being the next big thing, but aren't actually there yet, but are getting there, just wait.
And fucking wait...
Well you know what? I am so tired of waiting. So tired of supporting, and ummm and ahhhing, whilst the rest of the world waits to catch up. When I was 19, I started lapdancing. I automatically had IN to all the cool stratospheri that I wanted. Rock stars? I met them. Politicians? I showed them my crotch and they promised me the world. That entire basketball team, the NBA fucking champions? They gave me front row seats.
Yet when it comes to dating, I've always gone for the artistic types that promise and give me nothing, except time and affection.
Sounds great right?
No. I just celebrated my 21st for the millionth time, and you know what? After almost a decade of dancing, I think I am finally hardening. I am so tired of socialising with people at work who throw money at me, whilst dating guys who freelance, or don't earn too much, or who are studying for something. That's my role in life, and I looked in the mirror tonight, and saw a scary prospect. I saw a girl who still looks like a girl but feels like a woman, a tired one at that, who just wants a chance, to be that girl who looks to her right and sees a strong man.
Girls, I think it may be time for some spring cleaning in my social and sex life.
It's going to be painful, and its going to be lonely and nasty and so fucking painful and horrible its beyond words, but god damn it, I'm a hustler and can get through this.
I have to, because I am getting old, and my looks are fading, and my bones are tired, and these heels are KILLING me.....