Saturday, 28 April 2012

How to date a stripper

What's it like dating a dancer like me?

Amazeballs! Totes Fabulous Sweedie...... Ok, so I'm biased.

So when I wanted to find out what it's like to date a lapdancer, I went and asked a guy who's been there/done that, and can provide some perspective from a man's point of view.

One of my readers obliged, thank god, although I may bite the bullet and interview one of my ex-boyfriends (one day, when I grow some balls).

'Rob' has been with his partner for 4 years. She has been dancing in UK for 2 years.  They live together in London, where he has a normal job whilst his girlfriend dances.

She works at various clubs in London and surrounds. Rob explained "Employment wise they are quite good but before they were terrible. As she is from the developing world, employment rights arent high on her list of needs. That part is my imput.

Best Bit About being with a stripper

1 Shes obviously hot

2 She stays hot as her job is physical

3 The peace and quiet / independence of free weekends

4 That she earns very good money, in cash

Worst Parts about being with a Lapdancer

1 Constantly hearing "xxx made twice as much, am I ugly"

2 Being alone going to bed every night

3 Lying to your family / friends about what she does. (Im a good liar though so its not that big an issue)

4 The employment rights, which are appaling

Do you go to Lapdancing Clubs?

In the UK, on stag dos only. Its too expensive in the UK and I know too much. Overseas, yes.

I believe Im more lapdancing experienced than most men (i would be a wallet watcher in your terminology)

Was your girlfriend a lapdancer when you met her?


Would you describe yourself as jealous?

No. If you are jealous then I dont think a stripper is the best choice of girlfriend

Does she have sex with customers?

No, but she constantly moans that men ask her all the time.

She also tells me about colleagues who are "dirty", or girls "who must be dirty as they are so ugly/ fat"

How do you know she isnt lying to you?

I trust her, and shes rubbish at lying.
Sassy's note; I'm unbelievably crap at lying to boyfriends, friends and family, although ironically I am way above average when it comes to lying to strangers and punters. When I am in the club, I could lie for Britain!!!

What do you think about when she is at work?

Whatever I'm doing. I genuinely don't think about what she is doing.
Are you worried about safety?

Clubs seem very safe, she isn't worried. Security is strong, she has a regular taxi driver and never says anything about danger at work
You're with a lapdancer, your sex life must be amazing?

erm no, when you work in the sex industry you dont bring it home. I understand that and make concessions.

I'm not with her for the sex.

Do you get to meet her friends?

Sometimes, I give them lifts and maybe meet for a coffee to ask things.

She does have hot friends, but when I see them they are tired and in normal clothes. Most strippers dont walk down the street in fur coats, stockings and high heels.

What does she say about her work?

Mostly its busy / quiet, or moaning about wankers / being happy about customers who have lots of dances, or telling me something funny that happened, or what other girls have said. She is constantly surprised by things the Brazilian or East European girls say
Does she ever tell you about good looking customers?

Occasionally, if a young lad comes in who fits her type. She will tell me he was hot, and how much money he gave her, if he smelled nice and ask me why he goes lapdancing. Shes not with me for my looks btw.

Has she ever danced for girls?

Yes, but she didnt tell me as much detail about that as I hoped
What do you think about her regular customers?

I am happy for them that they like my girlfriend, they have good taste. I'm also happy that they give her lots of money for not doing very much other than talk to them. Most of them seem to treat her as a surrogate girlfriend / wife and just like the company of a pretty young girl. If I was them I would find a more rewarding solution to my problem, but each to their own.
I have texted them for her, or helped her with answers when they text. I wasn't happy about them giving her her number at the start, but its in my name so I'm not worried.

How could your life as a lapdancer boyfriend be improved?

More daytime dancing and less nights

Always that my gf would be the prettiest & highest earning girl in every club

A semblance of employment rights for strippers

That all customers would be generous when sober

Free dances from her friends reciprocated amongst all boyfriends

What advice would you give punters who want to go out with a lapdancer?

Treat the girls as normal girls, not charity cases or reprobates in need of reform

Be normal and 2 of these 4 things - good looking, smart, nice smelling, generous / and or nice

Never be drunk, boring, lecherous or obnoxious

Remember that money is only wages to the girls. If your going to try to impress by being rich, you had better be filthy rich.

How would you pull a lapdancer?

If you really like a girl, note when the girls are busy and not busy. She might like you, but if theres money to be made and you're not giving it her then she needs to get on with her job. If its quiet, there's no dances to be had, and you're good company and a little bit generous then who knows?

Dont assume she will sleep with you just because of her job.

Always pay for dances.

And finally, if she asks you for money for anything other than a dances, she isn't interested.
What advice would you give a stripper boyfriend?

Always be open and ask as many question as you need to trust your partner

Never go and watch her dance, just as you wouldn't expect your partner to come and watch you work

Be understanding that its a dirty job, and that she needs support about her looks / personality.

Learn to sleep with earplugs so she doesnt wake you up when she comes in at daft oclock

Pick 1 lie and stick to it regards her employment.

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